"Children begin by loving their parents. As they grow older, they judge them. Sometimes they forgive them."

"Some people are so fond of ill-luck that they run half-way to meet it."

"We live in a world where lemonade is made from aritificial flavoring and furniture polish is made from real lemons"

"When mom found my diaphram, I told her it was a bathing cap for my cat."

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

"Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present."

"From the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step."

"I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay."

"The world is governed more by appearance than realities so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it."

"Nothing in life is promised except death."

"If you could be God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?"

"I have no pretensions whatever to that kind of elegance which consists in tormenting a respectable man."