"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."

"Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angles to San Francisco live there?"

"The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there, it's there."

"All American cars are basically Chevrolets."

"A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home."

"To laugh is to live profoundly."

"Hatred is a boomerang which is sure to hit you harder than the one at whom you throw it."

"Free and fair discussion will ever be found the firmest friend to truth."

"The art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve change amid order."

"The great thing is the start - to see an opportunity for service, and to start doing it, even though in the beginning you serve but a single customer - and him for nothing."