"Life is a disease; and the only diference between one another is the stage of the disease at which he lives."

"Democracy: The substitution of election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few."

"My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity."

"Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough."

"Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich--something for nothing."

"Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children."

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world."

"A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."

"Honesty is the recognition of the fact that the unreal is unreal and can have no value, that neither love nor fame nor cash is a value if obtained by fraud."

"The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head."

"If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done."

"Only as you do know yourself can your brain serve you as a sharp and efficient tool. Know your own failings, passions, and prejudices so you can separate them from what you see."